Monday, November 24, 2003

Can't We Return As Friends?

Its an unforgiving act by me. Its wrong move to initiate “friendship” between us. I will never forgive myself for being loving towards him. Love wasnt in his mind when he was with me. I knew all along. But this is how I wanted to be with him. Love was in my mind. I shouldnt held his hand… I shouldnt have kiss him… I shouldnt start all these foolish things… Ben messaged just now, I knew I had to reply but some part of me didnt want to. In the end, I replied him coldly. The words I wrote were terribly cold that I felt a overwhelming feeling of sourness in me especially in my heart. I didnt want to end up like this but I dun wish to repeat these nonsense again. I dun wish to ever see him again. I dun wish to hear his voice again but its terribly hard to make the decision. The decision to continue the path of friendship with him. Maybe I should let time decide. Anyway, I was wondering who had told him about my asthma attack or he visited my face-pic website. I simply have no idea…

leaving skool at 10:46 PM [loving infatuatious dardar]

***

A Poem Which Touched me...

"Both are convinced that a sudden surge of emotion bound them together. Beautiful is such a certainty but uncertainty is more beautiful. Because they didn't know each other earlier, they suppose that nothing was happening between them. What of the streets, stairways and corridors where they could have passed each other long ago? I'd like to ask them whether they remember - perhaps in a revolving door ever being face to face? an "excuse me" in a crowd or a voice "wrong number" in the receiver But I know their answer : no, they don't remember. They'd be greatly astonished to learn that for a long time Chance had been playing with them. Not yet wholly ready to transform into fate for them, it approached them, then backed off. Stood in their way and, suppressing a giggle, jumped to the side."

leaving skool at 2:48 PM [loving infatuatious dardar]

***

A Wall Which Separates Us

Here I am staying up till 1.15 am writing this entry….. waHaha.. Just finished watching a show… Turn Left Turn Right very freaky show lehx... because the girl and guy has been so close to each other but never realized how close they were. Even during they were teenagers, they fell in love with each other. I wonder does destiny really exist. I dont know. Even it exist I dont think it would happen on me. But since we are talking about this, I realized there was one period I wondered who is staying across my room. The person played the music so loudly till I could practically felt the rhythm beatings on my bed. I was so angry!! But there was once, the person played Jay’s songs, although I could barely hear it but at least I could hear some. Sometimes, I wonder is it a guy or girl who likes Blue, Jay Chou, Elva, listens to 93.3 FM and prefers the music loud. Do you know I was so stupid till I sticked my ears on the wall to find out what music is the person playing? But the dammit thick wall so thick till I cannot hear properly. Argh…. I think the person likes house music too because I heard once before. My house is a corner unit so does the person’s. Nowadays, I rarely hear the person playing the loud music anymore. Hey! You guys must be thinking I’m copying Turn Left Turn Right ? NO!! I’m telling the truth.. To those dont believe: U can Come my HousE to see the wall and maybe you lucky enough he could be playing music! Well, I should be in dreamland now… Ciaoz..

leaving skool at 1:15 AM [loving infatuatious dardar]

***

Sunday, November 23, 2003

News Flash!! (Forgot to post this!)

1) Congratulations to Holly Marie Combs (Piper Halliwell in Charmed) ! She is expecting her first child with her long-time boyfriend, David Donoho.

Quoted from Pregnant stars get creative cover-ups
By Donna Freydkin, USA TODAY

"My boobs are getting bigger. My stomach is definitely bigger," says Combs, who's due in late April (the dad is her boyfriend, David Donoho). "I'm in all of my fat jeans right now, and let me just say that I'm about two days away from giving them up for maternity pants."

Luckily, her pregnancy will be written into the witchy WB show (Sundays, 8 p.m. ET/PT), but not until January. There's no final word yet on how it will be worked in or who the TV father will be. But the delay means that Combs, 30, has to conceal her belly into her sixth month.

"Our clothes are form-fitting, but my character is going to have to get a little more casual," Combs says. "I might appear in a couple of sweatshirts, for the first time ever. We've never dealt with this before."

Another thing for Charmed fans : Alyssa @ Lakers vs. Bulls Game in Los Angeles.
(I dunno if this guy in the pictures is Alyssa's bf.. who knows??)

Links 

http://cache.gettyimages.com/thumb/2752532.jpg?x=x&a=2752532&b=editorial&t=1

http://cache.gettyimages.com/thumb/2752528.jpg?x=x&a=2752528&b=editorial&t=1

http://cache.gettyimages.com/thumb/2752513.jpg?x=x&a=2752513&b=editorial&t=1

http://cache.gettyimages.com/thumb/2752473.jpg?x=x&a=2752473&b=editorial&t=1

http://cache.gettyimages.com/thumb/2752466.jpg?x=x&a=2752466&b=editorial&t=1

Another BIG news!! Rose Mcgowan (Paige Matthews from Charmed) is getting married!?
Rose is getting married soon?? to David Zinczenko.

Scans of article (its in French, people in forum saying that this article may be rumour only and some people is suspecting the realiability of the article too! so dun pin ya hopes too high!):

http://perso.wanadoo.fr/myalwayscharmed/scanrose.htm

2) Today I was reading “The Straits Times”, I saw one of the headlines was “Proud virgin”, it wasnt intruding so I casually flipped to the page – “Taking the Pledge” It says six thousands of youths taken the pledge to sworn off premarital sex to “save themselves for marriage” and more eye stunning was there was this cute guy featured below the article which obviously taken the pledge too said that he is proud to be a virgin. Heez.. Hello? (for crying out loud!) ?You are simply telling everyone in the world you’re virgin hor.. *giggles*

3) Ho Yeow Sun is yet on another issue of City Harvest Chruch and her. I mean when I first read the article, I felt that she should explain to the members in church even though how busy is she. The way she dresses and the way she “promoted” her album in Church has caused a big deal of controversy among the City Harvest members. Well, having to hear some of my friends saying that she is one hell of an attitude problem artiste among Singaporean singers compared to Kit Chan and the rest. I dont know whether its true or not. The members of Church should deserve a explanation from her. That should settle it!
4) One the articles which horrified me a lot was people who frequent sex shops – Ah Peks…
5) They have put up some blogs for us to see in Straits Times. I dont know if they are interesting or not because im logging onto net later. Im typing this offline ma.. :P

Here are the websites: (exploring their blogs and see what they write lor~)

www.davebarry.blogspot.com written by Humorist Dave Barry

http://www.rupaul.com/weblog.shtml written by Drag queen RuPaul

http://www.margaretcho.net/blog/blog.htm written by Comedienne Margaret Cho

http://www.melaniegriffith.com/ written by Actress Melanie Griffith

http://www.moby.com/cms/viewalldiary.asp written by Musician Moby

heez.. :D

My dad is watching the Community Chest Charity show now at Channel 8.. I have this funny feeling for these charity shows everytime like NKF and President Charity… They are simply sucking out money from us, making us to donate and donate. Then, when I was eating my dinner just now, I recalled my uncle’s wife donating to NKF. I know she would donate not for getting the prizes but she done out of her goodwill. I know someone who donated just to get that vouchers and I nearly fainted just hearing that. Haiz..


leaving skool at 11:51 PM [loving infatuatious dardar]

***

Saturday, November 22, 2003

Asthma Attacking....

These few nights I have been getting breathing difficulties, the short breathes and the difficult to gasp for air feeling weren’t feeling good. It felt your breathe is going to stop anytime. I don’t know if I stop breathing suddenly in this world, anyone would feel sad for me. No one would know what I’ve said for my last words. I cried when I tried gasping for air last night, its so xin ku till I kept thinking of dying. Now, I understand why patients don’t want to die at hospital because they would prefer to die somewhere they feel comfortable leaving which is home. I just seen the doctor and taken my medicine just now. Doctor said my throat is inflamed and it’s the cause of asthma attack. He said lucky it was a mild one or else I would die of serious asthma. What if I had serious asthma? What if I died? Why do I keep thinking of dying? Perhaps leaving this world would less the burden of my parents to pay for my hp bills.. or maybe net bills…

*Listening to Zhang Zheng Yue’s Ai Wo Bei Zou*


leaving skool at 9:53 PM [loving infatuatious dardar]

***

Friday, November 21, 2003

I won't put white flag above my door and surrender!

Before I say anything to my blog, I wish to say I’m not sad anymore…. I’m going to continue this journey myself alone because I want to prove I can!

This particular song by Dido, White Flag.
“I won’t put my hands up and surrender, there will be no white flag above my door ….”

I really like this song, at first I thought it wasn’t that good song because the woman who sang this really like no energy…. waHaha… Actually, Eugene burned these songs for me, nice nice songs. I really appreciate what he did for me.

Rating: 3.5 / 5

“Duan Le De Xian” by Jay Chou.
“… ni de kai bian wo bu neng fen bian…..”

Another good song from Jay Chou. I think it’s the theme song for the movie, “In Search For Jay Chou”. Rite Shini? Heez.. very nice because I love the lyrics and melody. Super nice!! I immediately fell in love with the song when I first heard it! No JOKE!

Rating: 4 / 5

My sister just went cut her hair yesterday, she kept looking at her hair whole night. She first time cut her fringe short lor.. Frankly, quite nice lor.. Wa Lauz.. She said I don’t appreciate art piece when i said it was kns… lolx.. like that say her elder kor.. no respect.. Anyway, she kept saying I’m deaf because whatever she said I didn’t catch and she has to repeat it for second time. Heez.. dun mean it ma… anyway, I went for my second day training .. Definitely better than yesterday! Perhaps I was feeling out yesterday la.. Maybe also I made few friends. Jeffery, Ron, Ah Shui, Wincy, my trainer (Mike), got the rest of them but I forgotten their names liaox.. Not that I bo simx or wat just purely forgot ma.. Aiyo you guys ar… Like I got forgot you all… Rite Shini? Serene? Adrian? Heez.. anyway, tml I have to go dental appointment so CIAOZ~ *snorex*


leaving skool at 10:55 PM [loving infatuatious dardar]

***

Thursday, November 20, 2003

When Heart Goes Sour...

I never felt so strong pressure in my heart ever. Perhaps it was the last three messages I sent to Ben which made me felt I was lost totally again in this world. I went for training for this very morning at about 9.15 am and I was really damn down and tired. My mind was blank. I faced the expressionless bus driver and went on in search for my seat but I ended up standing without knowing I did. Pretty silly huh.. So many seats down there in the back cabin of the bus waiting for me to pick but I rather stand throughout the entire journey. You guys must be laughing at me, why am I so stupid and silly not to sit down but to stand up and make myself tired. Perhaps this is the road I have chosen. Road I have chose to take. I don’t care I’m tired or not. Next time, I may think twice about sitting down in a bus again. Throughout the whole training, I did not make any new friends. Only stares to one another and pretend to act cool (which I was doing.) I felt so ‘friendless’ during the training. I wanted to message one of my friends. Anyone in my phonebook but I guess they might be sleeping or busy working at the moment. I really envy Serene, Shini and Germaine. So social. Friends around. Never lack of them. I get shy at times when I’m facing people which I don’t know especially when I’m alone. The depress me was entirely too lazy and shy to even talk to a guy beside me. But instead, I was annoyed by the fact he and his girlfriend are sitting beside me. Shared mineral water, wrote secret messages on paper, these couply things are making me fed up. !@#!@# WHAT IS THEIR FUCKIN PROBLEM??? I don’t like them at all. I began to hate them. The hatred soon spreaded around from his friends to everybody in training room and the training teacher, Cecilia. I didn’t display the anger la.. I’m just bottling the anger and I kept suppressing it. I don’t know what will happen to me in future..

leaving skool at 11:07 PM [loving infatuatious dardar]

***

Life's uncertainty

These few days have been less exciting and stressful because having less night talks with Ben. Did I say stressful? Yeah.. I did… Maybe talking to someone whom you’ll never understand. He covers his mask very well, covers his inner feelings. You’ll never know what happens next. He told me “a friend” gave him a wake-up call which made him realized what’s happening to his life (for not getting over his ex.). I was like: “Ok………” and kept thinking of his wake-call. I guess I diverted wrong attention to wrong person. I did. I think I should just leave him alone and just head on my life. OkOK… You guys maybe blur now. Well, I shall explain it all.
Never anyone knew how I and Ben met because I never really explained clearly. Actually, he msged me through fridae profile and I thought was just another guy sending casual message to me. But it happens that I never realized how cute he was. Never really clicked on his profile because I was just pure lazy. His nick was mathmos. So it just came to me, the thought of exploring his profile among all the guys. So I gave him a shot and read his profile, nothing in particular la.. Just his cute looks lor.. Then, I found another msg from him wanting to know me more. I was thinking which part of me he wants. Then, no choice lor.. Gave him my number and waited for his msg. We got along very well, we had nights of endless talks and frequent meets for dinners and movies. He is just this prefect gentleman I never really expected to make friend with. But all along, he never mentioned of going into relationship. I guess we are never meant to be. We are just close friends who can really relate our problems and sorrows to each other.
Perhaps it was his intimate actions which I mistaken, his eye stares, his “feel”, maybe his perfume scent. I’ve been wronged all these while. Yeah.. I’m wrong. I know he has been putting up with a lot of my nonsense. Those things he doesn’t really accept. Come to think of crying twice for him, I felt I was too silly. Not silly but STUPID!!! We ended quite “quietly” with less messages and talks during these days. Who would want to message someone who is stupid, ugly, and thin like bamboo and cries all the time? No one I guess… not even Ben liaoz.. I feel like crying but I can’t because I’m not going to cry for him the third time. Never in my life! I guess it’s never meant to be.

What were you doing when you’re 17 that time?
Rushing for classes? Mugging for examinations? Talking non-stop with your best buddies? Or going crazy for idols?
All I wish for my 17 year old life is to get a normal life.
Who would understand a 17 year old boy’s life?
Not even an Alien or psychiatrist.
I don’t understand myself either.
Only desperately hoping for someone to rely on.. to share my woes with..
Despair – Hope’s greatest enemy.
Foolish – adj. silly; not sensible.


*Listening to Wang Xing Ling and Sun Xie Zhi’s Jian Ao*


leaving skool at 12:24 AM [loving infatuatious dardar]

***

Sunday, November 16, 2003

Sensitive Part of Me

I always think of the negative sides of things. I never looked at the bright side because I knew it wouldn’t happen. I’m always telling people to look at the bright side but I’m not doing that. This sensitivity side of me is beginning to wipe off the energy leftover in me. This sensitivity is towards Ben. He would be telling me he is meeting friends, he met someone on profiles or he would talk about his ex(s). There is this jealousy which struck upon me. Jealousy that I’ll never able to clear.

I made this Banner myself.. I'm clever huh?? :P



leaving skool at 2:59 PM [loving infatuatious dardar]

***

Saturday, November 15, 2003

PMSing Day

Ever since I was back from chalet, I'm feeling hot tempered especially towards Ben. I don't know why. Perhaps about what I have thought about, changing my life. I was quiet during our conversations, I never wanted that. I had lots of things to share with him especially the days I spent in chalet. Strangely, I don't feel like talking to him anymore.... But some part of me wants to.... I'm feeling sad and miserable. I cried after he hung up the phone.. Second time crying for this guy.. Why... He told me Serene msged him, then there was this feeling of jealousy but after a few seconds, I felt nothing. He should be getting this life. I'm stopping him from getting normal life. I don't wish to see him regret in future... Maybe I should just leave... confused.. sad.. angry... I'm not his important person anyway....

*Listening to Clay Aiken 's Invisible*

leaving skool at 2:15 PM [loving infatuatious dardar]

***

Thursday, November 13, 2003

Exit Stratgies of my Life


I’m back from the chalet, safe and sound! Some things may have changed within the 24 hours since I left the laptop, some things don’t. You may wonder why am I blabbering about this nonsense. I shall reveal one by one.
It has been a while ever since we left secondary school life and I was glad to be invited to the 4A chalet gathering. Of course, some of them didn’t turn up so it wasn’t really a ‘gathering’. Well, I don’t really cared much because most of my closest friends are there, we had lots of fun and lots of catching up about our lives, our woes, our problems. I never felt shy among them (only to some people in my class.) because I felt I really could relate my secrets to them and they would keep it like cherishing this friendship we have. We talked like a never ending story with never ending dialogues. It may sound crazy but we talked from night till 4 in the morning next day. I never felt tired about telling them my problems and they would also relate their problems to us. I felt being trusted with this secrecy thing.

Never regretted meeting 4A mates again, some of them changed like Yik how who was plump but now he is fit and definitely slimmer than Sec. 4. Nevin who was short now is comparable with Pravin! I’m glad and happy to see everyone doing fine in their studies and lives.

Before coming for the chalet, I was definitely on job hunt with several of my starhub ex colleagues, I share secrets with them too. I just realized I have been telling my can-relate friends secrets. Sooner or later, I think the whole world would know. Ha! Job hunt is hard indeed with them around because they wanted a job which not sales related like sales assistant, or sales coordinator. They wanted a job which is “relax” and easy to come and go type of job like telemarketing which we went for in one of the agency, Adoco. We had two interviews, one at Adoco and Starhub at Burlington Square. We pinned our hopes high because we knew we had experience in Starhub before, I was expected to do sales promoter at road shows. But instead Kelly (the Chinese woman in long blonde hair) called and informed me I would be doing data entering in Ayer Rajah Office which made me quite excited and happy. I heard Fiona wasn’t with us because she doesn’t want to face the supervisor she had feud with but she soon agreed to join. Guess what!? I was replaced by her. My morale was dumped to the lowest point on Earth, I knew I couldn’t survive without those friends around. Honestly, I felt angry towards Fiona at first but it soon dispersed because I knew I can’t be that unreasonable. So I had to sadly accept the offer to be a sales promoter at road shows. Darelle knew this and called me and started comforting me. It didn’t really worked on me after when she mentioned some points worth giving a shot for. Having more experiences, making more friends and more work pay! Ha! I realized these and started to put worries and sadness aside. I think they would really want me to join them but I couldn’t. *smiling so brightly till teeth is shown* :D

It was certainly a week of rising emotions, I just quarreled with Ben. Never really wanted it that way but I couldn’t stand it anymore. I should really tell him. I think this is my major crisis of my life. Never worse.


leaving skool at 10:59 PM [loving infatuatious dardar]

***

Monday, November 10, 2003

Its the Matrix Thing!

Morpheus - "I'm trying to free your mind, Neo. But I can only show you the door. You're the one who has to walk through it. You have to let it all go, Neo. Fear, doubt and disbelief. Free your mind."
Jasen –“Fear, doubt and disbelief are the ones locking our minds up which caused panic, unnecessary worries and unpredictable consequences. We never tried releasing them because it may result to a unwanted bad situation.”

The Oracle - "We can never see past the choices we don't understand.”
Jasen –“Choices are things we often make, some are bad, and some are good, some are reasonable, some are not. We often sort the most wanted and desirable choice among all choices but it may not achieve the results we wanted. Nevertheless, choices are always to be made to decide the path of life.”

Denial is the most predictable of all human responses…
Jasen –“Denying is a way of escaping the path of truth.”

Hope - it is the quintessential human delusion, simultaneously the source of your greatest strength, and your greatest weakness."
Jasen – “We often go seek hope and sometimes hopes are empty. Some people hopes for their whole lives but nothing is really achieved. Is Hope our destined way of life for living on or it is just a empty illusional cure for desires?”


leaving skool at 11:51 PM [loving infatuatious dardar]

***

Slut Act

I still can’t get over by Derrick’s remarks. He scolded over the MSN that I’m a slut. Am I ? I think I’m one. Derrick’s remarks really hurts me a lot, I never expected him to hurt me like that. To someone I loved once, he was the least expected to scold me. Its rather contradicting. Maybe he has his side of story.. I don’t know but I know I did some wrong to him. Its quite saddening to think of it…. Haiz.. Derrick and I lost contact many times, but it always seemed fate can’t escape our hands. I clicked on his nick, we talked on net like as if love was in the air. It seemed endless but until last week, I had my examinations, I started to message him less and sometimes I won’t respond to his messages. To my surprise, I found my dear nicknamed rather intruding whenever he messages me. Its whenever I was thinking whether to reply or not, something would crop up and I would leave the message alone. As time passed, his messages flooded my whole message box. Upon reading once again, each contained at least a word: Dear.. Continuing to read, gradually there was this fear of replying him which accumulated in the process. It happens that these few weeks I’m occupied going out and catching up with secondary school friends, poly friends and my ex office colleagues. I started to “abandon” him, the fear is still there. I’m afraid to fall for him too fast till I can’t catch hold of him well. I’m scared I don’t understand him well enough. I’m not trying to salvage what’s left over of us now but I wish that he really understands what’s my choice. The choice to understand him well enough. I don’t think he would know the existence of this blog but I really hope one day he would understand what he did. I know by the time I finished this entry, he would clear every single thing of me on his friendster, msn and mobile phone. Actually, I don’t wish to end things this way. The slut word is injected into my mindstream, never to be forgotten and forgiven cox i dun like to be called slut!

To Someone Once I Loved Deeply Before: Both of us committed a mistake. My mistake was neglecting your feelings and being so careless. I never guessed your mistake because I hope you would tell me one day what it is. I’m wishing you all the best with whoever called Jovian.



leaving skool at 12:47 PM [loving infatuatious dardar]

***

Sunday, November 09, 2003

Touch of Love

I had a great day today, went out with several of my close friends. They never stopped talking and they can last throughout the evening. We talked on everything from recent ez-link card implementation to Darelle’s job woes. We had dinner at Kenny Roger’s and I would say their food sucks! We had all one quarter chicken plus two side dishes, my side dishes were mashed potato and fried rice. Mashed potato was awful and the fried rice’s grains were hard and so non-chewy. I swear I’m not going back there ever again! After I left the gang, I joined Ben at Plaza Singapura which was a long long long walk from Bugis. This Ben ar… Must be watching too much pronos so that he got this eye pimple lor. Hehex.. It is the day I never forget because I was down at Marina Promenade with him, walking side by side. I never dreamt of going to Marina Promenade with someone I liked, probably I use the word “liked” too fast. Whatever.. Then, we sat down facing this river and Marina South land. One Fullerton hotel isn’t far from our view, it looked rather majestic with the lights shone on it. Comparing to the commercial buildings like HSBC, OCBC buildings, the hotel seemed smaller and less majestic in view. The purples, blues, greens, and yellows coming from the buildings were reflecting onto the river’s surface which made the river so beautiful and colourful. Moon was full this night, many stars were shining onto us, not far away there were lightning bolts in clouds which was a mesmerizing view. There were gentle breeze which blew across and I really loved the feeling. Far away there was this piece of island which was obviously not litted and was very dark, I wondered is that Malaysia or just a piece of vacant land in Singapore. We stayed there for wonderful half an hour before we headed back to Marina Square for movie. Talking about movie, I really felt so guilty in making Ben paying for everything and I really need to react fast before I get too pampered all these treats. Perhaps I should really get a job. :P I shall see la.. Anyway, the movie started as soon we arrived in our seats, of course they presented the advertisements before playing the movie BUT the damn advertisements were so many till I was frustrated. It took around fifteen minutes before it started playing Matrix Revolution. Once again, I soon found myself lying on his shoulder, he adjusted to allow my head to rest well. From then onwards, I never wanted to leave his shoulder till my neck was aching like hell, I had to sit up to “exercise” a little. I did something which I never regretted, or maybe I would regret later. Who cares.. My index finger touched his left palm, I fingered some words out on it and I guessed he didn’t felt it or even noticed I was finger-scribbling something on his palm. Knowing that he didn’t sensed it, a bit of sadness overcame me but it soon dispersed with his firm grip after that. After Trinity died in the scene, I felt a shiver, a slight shiver from him. I knew he was cold or something so I squeezed his hand a little. Hope he felt the warmth… Well, I don’t think it really matters now.

leaving skool at 1:45 PM [loving infatuatious dardar]

***

Thursday, November 06, 2003

Punk'd By A Cockroach

Today damn sway manx.. I was revising for my management exam and just as I was in the mist of revising the Controlling notes, there is this UFO cockroach which came in and toured my room. (U->Ugly, F-Fat and O-Ordinary-Flying-Cockroach) This despicable creature landed on my bed and even fluttered his dammit wings.. Argh.. I was like : “Hey, you are doing it on MY BED!!?” Anyway, I don’t think the cockroach would understand how I felt. It was terrible and tremendously evil of the cockroach to disturb me during my revision. When I realized it was starting to take off and heading my direction, I practically screamed!! What came off my mouth was the digustiest scream I ever heard. I bet my neighbour were tortured by it because I screamed thrice. waHaha.. It was this stupid evil and fat cockroach’s fault that I had to resort the evil way to do this. Baygon time! Evil Boy VS Evil Flying Cockroach! Fight! It was an honorable battle between us and its either me lives, it dies or me dies and it lives. Of course, someone will have to sacrifice ->Flying Cockroach. *evil grinz* I nearly had my room filled with Baygon’s toxic smell. EwwWw.. I thought it would die after spraying five times, this old-cannot-die (Lau Bu Si) cockroach was still fluttering his brownish wings. Simply atrocious! Then I realized it was getting out of hand. It flew around my chair twice which made me freaked out twice because it was too small to spot. I had enough! So I settled down without bothering the freaking cockroach, I started my controlling notes. Then, it was only after ten minutes, this devilish cockroach rested in a corner of my room without moving.. haha. Victory! This cockroach had really made me punk’d!

leaving skool at 1:55 PM [loving infatuatious dardar]

***

Monday, November 03, 2003

Rainy Days Please Go Away~ aka Dreamy Nights...

These few nights have been raining, I just couldn’t help thinking the dooms day thing mentioned by my sister that day. She started working as sales assistant in jurong point in a shop. Whatever the shop is, it sells women’s clothes, luggage and handbags. She has this sounded-mad colleague, Christine. Have you ever seen something or a scene which is so familiar like you have dreamt of it before? This is what happen to me and my sister, we tend to have familiar scenes dreamt and we would go : “HEY, I dreamt of this place before!!” Yeah… Creepy huh.. So this Christine was talking to her and telling her things about her dreams becoming reality. Well, at first I was like : “ok…..” but gradually I listened on and soon got so into her soon-to-be reality dream. One of it includes the dooms day and how we are recreated when we die. She said she dreamt of the seven signs happening to us in this world. Didn’t talked much about the seven signs but I was much more interested in the recreation of souls. Christine’s dream was she dreamt of her dying and her soul was captured in this dark jail with six other unknown people. She was captured there for years and years till a bell rang and the gates opened. It was time! Time to be freed to the mortal world. She ran with the other captives, until there were guards running for them taking them back because it was a false alarm but she never want to go back in that dark jail. Who wants… She found a dark corner and hid there. She was never found and saw the guards left so she decided to make a run to the so called thirteen gates of recreation: Human, Ox, Pig, Monkey, Tiger, Rabbit, Snake, Sheep, Dragon, Rat, Horse, Dog, last one cant remember. She hesitated for a moment and jumped into the Human gate. As she dreamt on, she saw herself (in baby form of course.) back in the seventies. The end lor… I was rather intruded by the ending. Back to old times? We are recreated in the old times when we die? Well, I don’t totally obsess in dreams deciding someone’s fate but I do believe dreams do bring a message. A message to constantly remind you in life. Perhaps a mistake you made. A unforgettable accident. Or a painful love you wish to forget. Haix..Its raining again. How I wish the rain would stop. Isn’t it funny? When we most wished for sun to come, there would be clouds and rain and when we wished for rain, the weather would be extremely hot and stuffy. Is God playing us around? Or he is trying to show us some signs?

leaving skool at 1:48 PM [loving infatuatious dardar]

***